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Expert Reviewed By - Are you at your wit’s end because your toddler won’t go to bed until 10pm? As a parent, we know how challenging it can be when your child’s bedtime routine becomes a nightly struggle. In this blog post, we’ll share some practical strategies and advice to help you tackle this common parenting issue and get your little one to bed earlier.
Why Is My Toddler Going To Bed So Late?
If your toddler is going to bed late you need to look at why they refuse to settle earlier. Therefore, you need to ask yourself:
- Are they watching screens before you try to get them to bed?
- Are you eating dinner late in the evening?
- Does their dinner contain hidden stimulants like excess sugar or caffeine?
- Do they have older siblings who stay up later?
- Have they recently transitioned to a big bed from their crib?
- Have you given in when they started to object to going to bed?
- Have you recently moved house?
- Were you trying to get back on track after a sleep regression?
- Did you recently go on holiday where the routine changed for a while?
- Have they been unwell?
Of course, in your toddler’s ideal world, they want to be with you all the time and spend all day together. Therefore, it is up to you to implement strategies to get your toddler into bed sooner so that you can have some downtime too.
Now here’s the painful truth… In most cases, your toddler is going to bed late because you are allowing it.
But the good news is that if your toddler has been going to bed at 10pm for a while, you can take action and get your little one sleeping earlier again and reclaim your evenings.
4 Ways To Get Your Toddler Into Bed Earlier
Before we begin, I am going to be honest with you… Dealing with sleep issues is tough.
Sleep deprivation makes all other aspects of parenting harder work so getting the whole family into a healthy sleep routine is vital.
If your evening routine is getting disrupted by having a toddler who won’t go to sleep until late then, thankfully, there are things you can do to get back on track.
1. Implement A Consistent Bedtime Routine
I am a great advocate of a healthy and regular evening routine and when your toddler is not going to bed until 10pm, you need a bedtime routine now more than ever.
Having a regular bedtime will ensure your children are getting the cues that bedtime is approaching to help them get enough sleep… And it will also give you time to yourself which is an investment in your parenting for the following day.
The three B’s principle makes up the majority of a bedtime routine (Bath, Book, Bed), however, you need to remember the following to really nail the evening routine fully.
- Eat dinner around 5-5.30pm. Watch out for hidden stimulants like caffeine and excess sugar.
- No screens at all for an hour before bedtime. This includes background TV, your phone and tablets.
- Lower the energy levels after dinner, meaning no energetic games or exciting adventures.
- Start the bedtime routine no later than 6.30pm and keep every step calm.
- Do not stray from the routine as these are the cues for your toddler that bedtime is coming up.
- Make bath time enjoyable. Blowing bubbles and playing with the water together will help your toddler to enjoy the bedtime routine.
This bath toy from GOODLOGO will captivate your little one's imagination and teach them about cause and effect in the process. It is brightly coloured, has good suction cups, includes colanders, spinning aspects and fun waterfalls too! All in all, it is the perfect early bath toy!
- Give your toddler an incentive to get out of the bath like being able to choose which one of the 2 bedtime stories you are going to read to them.
- Get cosy in their favourite pyjamas. Again, let their independence show by offering 2 choices and letting them choose between them.
- Cosy up and read a calm story together. Here is a list of my top recommended books if you want some storytime inspiration.
- Aim for lights out to be no later than 7.30pm (and certainly no later than 8pm) and settle your toddler with a favourite toy.
REMEMBER: Toddlers do not like sudden transitions but they do like knowing what to expect. So be present throughout the entire bedtime routine.
2. Create A Healthy Sleep Environment
Creating a conducive sleep environment with strong sleep associations will definitely help your toddler to sleep peacefully. Setting the perfect stage will also give your toddler fewer excuses to complain that they’re too hot, too cold, afraid of the dark, lonely and so on.
- Is their bedroom between 18°C to 22°C (65°F to 70°F)? You can always use a mini room thermometer to monitor this throughout the seasons.
- Ensure their room is dimly lit with a soft night light. This will help to prevent night fears and can be reassuring if your little one wakes up at night.
Finding the right night light for your child can be quite a task. You want something safe, comforting, and practical. The Cozy Starry Night Light ticks these boxes, with eye-friendly warm lighting and an easy-to-use dimmer.
Its gentle glow makes it the best night light for feeding baby, diaper changes, or comforting your little one back to sleep.
As your baby grows the Cozy Starry Night Light's starry sky projection can provide comfort and gentle quiet time stimulation. Its soft lighting ensures a dreamy, peaceful environment, supporting your baby’s natural sleep cycle.
It really is a fantastic nightlight (at a very reasonable price!)
- Eye-friendly warm lighting with adjustable brightness.
- Includes a timer function for convenience.
- Projects a starry sky that is soothing for little ones.
- Rechargeable battery, so it's very portable.
- A USB adapter is not included for charging.
- The star projector is static without motion (however, this is ideal for very young babies and toddlers).
- Battery life varies based on the brightness settings.
- Ensure your toddler is wearing the appropriate clothing such as pyjamas or a sleeping bag, and has appropriate bedding for the time of year.
- Let your toddler sleep with a favourite cuddly toy or blanket (if it is safe to do so)
- Play an audiobook to lull them to sleep.
- Consider investing in a white noise machine to help block out distracting noises and create consistent background noise.
White noise machines are a game-changer for your little one's sleep and having one that plays all night is a must. With a long-lasting battery, this compact and stylish white noise machine contains 21 non-stop relaxing noises, which will lull your little one to sleep night after night, no matter where you are!
3. Be Aware Of Nap Times
Sleep breeds sleep… so don’t be tempted to drop daytime naps in the hope that your toddler will be ready to go to bed earlier.
Overtiredness will make it even more difficult for your little one to settle at bedtime as they will be full of adrenaline and cortisol, so make sure they have enough daytime sleep and consider using a sleep schedule to help get into the routine.
Read my post When Do Toddlers Stop Napping to learn how many naps your child needs every day, what to look out for during a nap transition, and if they need quiet time.
Looking to get your little one to sleep quickly and effortlessly without any bedtime battles? Check out my Bedtime and Nap Cheat Sheet and master the art of making daytime naps and bedtimes as seamless as possible.
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Laura Williams "This is a life saver! I'm so glad I downloaded your bedtime & nap cheat sheet. My little one actually asked me to put him to bed last night! Unbelievable! Thank you so much!"
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4. Know The Importance Of Daylight
Another thing you can do during the day to help your toddler be more ready for sleep is to make sure you get outside in the fresh air every day.
Being out in the daylight taps into your little one’s circadian rhythm which realigns their body clock and makes their body more aware of when they should be awake or be asleep.
Being outside also means that your toddler can run around, enjoy physical activity and use up more energy… all of which will help get your kids to sleep at a better hour as they will not be so hyper before bed.
Read this article to discover my favourite Outdoor Activities For Toddlers.
The Process For Shifting To An Earlier Bedtime
If your toddler has been going to bed at 10pm for a while… the truth is that a sudden change to make bedtime happen at 7.30pm is not going to work. They will kick and scream and have far too much energy for you to handle… causing tears, tantrums and meltdowns.
So, here’s the secret to bringing everything together and getting your toddler to sleep at a reasonable hour…
Implement a bedtime routine which ends with them getting into bed 15 minutes before they would normally crash out.
For example, if your toddler normally crashes out at 10pm… Aim to start your bedtime routine at 8.45pm so they are all clean, cosy and reading a book by 9.45pm.
Then reduce the time you start the bedtime routine by 15 minutes every other day.
Gradually, and with patience and consistency, you will be able to work your toddler’s bedtime back to a reasonable hour.
It may seem like a simple formula, but it really does work brilliantly. And if you can stick with this, you will have a 7.30pm sleeping toddler in no time.
TOP TIP: Whatever you do, try your hardest to not give in to your toddler’s demands. It will only take longer for you to establish a reasonable bedtime down the line.
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Frequent Questions Asked Alongside “Toddler Won’t Go To Bed Until 10pm”
Looking for more information and help about a toddler going to bed late? Here are the answers to the most common questions.
How Much Sleep Does My Toddler Need?
Your toddler is a very busy individual and is learning at a rapid rate. Therefore, sleep is a hugely important factor in their healthy development.
The following guidelines are what sleep your toddler needs in a 24-hour period (including daytime naps) as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.
- 1 to 2-year-old toddlers = 11-14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period
- 3 to 5-year-old preschoolers = 10-13 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period
Is 10pm Too Late For Toddler Bedtime?
Yes, 10pm is a very late bedtime for toddlers. Ideally, your child should not be in bed any later than 8pm to ensure they get enough sleep to support their brain’s growth and development as well as their physical development.
What Time Do Most Toddlers Go To Bed?
The sad truth is that most toddlers are going to bed far too late. The National Sleep Foundation in America has conducted surveys that have proven that about 30% of children under the age of 11 get less sleep at night than is recommended.
Despite many sleep experts suggesting that young children should go to bed between 6pm and 8pm, the fact is that half of American toddlers and preschoolers, go to bed after 9pm.
This is a very scary fact and as parents, we have a responsibility to ensure our children are getting the best start in life and getting enough sleep is a big part of this!
NOTE: I believe that all toddlers (aged 1 and up) should be going to bed no later than 7.30pm with lights out by 8pm. This bedtime should remain the same for the next 5-6 years and even then, it should only be delayed by a maximum of ½ an hour, on occasion.
If My Toddler Goes To Bed Early, Will They Wake Early?
Yes, your toddler will wake up earlier if they go to bed earlier. But your child should not be disturbing you before 6am.
If your toddler is going to sleep at around 8pm and getting enough restful, deep sleep… they should wake up between 6.30 and 7am. However, if you worry about your toddler waking too early, you can always use a color-changing toddler clock to help your little one visualise when it’s ok to get out of bed.
MELLA is the #1 most backed kid's clock and all-in-one Ready to Rise children's sleep trainer designed to keep your kid in bed longer. MELLA is a sleep trainer, alarm clock, sleep sounds machine, night light and nap timer rolled into one adorable package!
Studies show that children do not fully understand the concept of time until around 8 years old, so MELLA uses colours and facial expressions to teach your kid when it's time for bed and when it's okay to wake up. With MELLA, your kid can learn to stay in bed longer, giving you more sleep!
Need More Parenting Help?
- Download our FREE Perfect Sleep Cheat Sheet. It’s a free, easy-to-use and proven formula designed for parents of 0-5 year olds to master the art of consistently undisturbed and restful sleep without the yelling, nagging or exhausting long-winded evenings.
- Check out our Parenting Toolbox. You’ll get access to expertly-chosen products that you can guarantee are the best for your little one and your wallet.
- Ready to create the calm, peaceful evenings you deserve? Then checkout our most popular course - The Bedtime Battles Masterclass
A bedtime & nap cheat sheet so good your little one will ask you to put them to bed...
Laura Williams "This is a life saver! I'm so glad I downloaded your bedtime & nap cheat sheet. My little one actually asked me to put him to bed last night! Unbelievable! Thank you so much!"
Click Here For The FREE Cheat Sheet
